


Cosmogyral

by Wingschester7



Category: Men in Black (Movies)
Genre: Happy Ending, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Racism, Strong Language, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-15
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-05-14 23:38:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19283524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wingschester7/pseuds/Wingschester7
Summary: You’d think he’d be used to aliens from opposite ends of the universe referring to him and Jay asthem, but between extraterrestrial insinuations, Jay’s lack of awareness of personal space and his own intrusive thoughts… he’s sure he’ll go mad one of these days.In which everyone else, human or otherwise, knows what’s up. It takes Jay a while to catch up.~





	Cosmogyral

**Author's Note:**

> Minor homophobia/ racism. It’s not important to the plot but be warned.
> 
> Wholly inspired by this lovely fic [Unconventional by justsleepwalkin ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/625101)
> 
> I just wanted to write about these two! Also, sorry if I didnt quite get the characterization right and the fact that I barely know American slang (or British for that matter).

“You sure? Maybe we could have some kinda deal you know what I mean, handsome, show you how we do it on our planet” The slimy body gives off a strange buzzing noise and Kay tightens his grip. “Your boy wouldn’t even know how to satisfy a big, strong human like ya - “

Kay is really, truly used to it by now. No, it absolutely does _not_ get to him, dammit.

“Trust me, agent handsome. That pretty boyzzz got nothin’ on me.” Green tentacles are swaying towards him, the rows of mouths grinning at him like a loon, even as he struggles to keep his grip around the slippery body secure.

Jay’s going to make a dig at his slime-covered suit again.

He clears his throat. “You’ve breached code 019, revealing yourself to humans in a public location which is strictly forbidden.”

“...you missing out, my dude. Really, I could wrap you up in three! Three whole layers of mucus and still be rearing to go - “ 

“Thankyou, but I must decline.” He barely manages to hold in both a grimace.

“Pretty boyzzz got ya whipped! It’s just like they say it is … Eeeeee - “ The tentacles wave manically now.

He doesn’t even want to know who ‘they’ is.

“The penalty is six months and a mandatory human conventions course for three months at the termination of your exclusion.” He says loudly over the alien’s... screeching? Laughter? Crying?

Just then, the _pretty boy_ in question stumbles over to them, hands on knees, panting like he’d run a marathon.

“Man - those - fuck,” Agent Jay can barely get words in between heavy breathing. “Dammit, Kay! We need a fucking vacation!” 

He rolls his eyes. “Get in the car already.”

“Ooooo - well, sure - pretty boy can join us too! I can’t say I’ve ever tried some’in like zat before but ya know - first time for everything...“ 

“Yo, what’s the little dude chattering on about…” Jay looks at him curiously. The Luschkan turns the spare two tenctacles towards Jay and when Kay sees him reaching to turn the translator at his wrist… no, just no.

He none too gently shoves the alien inside the car and slams the door shut loudly. Then tugs at his suit - which is fairly covered in green goop.

“You need a new suit.” Jay observes unhelpfully.

Kay sighs.  
~

“So dinner at mine today?” Jay is standing shirtless just a few feet from him rummaging in his locker for a good ten minutes now as Kay waits patiently.

It’s a rhetorical question. Kay doesn’t bother answering.

“Gonna try traditional Italian today, how about that?” More rummaging, a few curses under breath. Then Jay stands back frowning.

“What’s wrong now, slick?” This, too, is a pointless question - it’s not like this isn’t the thousandth time this has happened. He’s long ago started keeping Jay-sized clothes in his own locker.

“Think I’m outta spares. I was sure I had put more clothes in here, god knows at the rate aliens go messing our clothes must be at a record - how could I forget…”

“Here, take this.” He throws a cotton shirt at the general vicinity of smooth, bare skin he’s trying to avoid looking at directly. 

“Thanks, Kay. You’re the best.” He grins at him and Kay scowls at the way plain grey has never looked this good on himself like the way it seems on the young man.

“Aww, com’on Kay, I’ll remember next time, promise. Don’t be mad.” He tugs at shirt. “Man, this is so soft - “

“You want me to drop you off at yours? We’re done for the day.”

“Sure, sure.”

Kay stands up to go past the other man with a clap on his shoulder. But finds in wrist trapped in strong fingers.

“Hey, Kay you got something here - “

His partner steps even closer to him and suddenly he can smell his own cologne and laundry gel on _him_ and it's all too much to take in a day - 

He can’t help but imagine a life where they share their clothes, him and Jay arguing about whose turn it is to do the laundry, him and Jay waking up together, scents mingling…

There’s a touch on the corner of his mouth, a swipe over his skin that leaves him a shiver running down his spine. 

“There you go. All clean and handsome now!”

He’s inexorably reminded of the alien’s outrageous comments a mere hours ago and steps back from Jay abruptly. “Yes. Thanks.”

The ride back home is filled with Jay’s happy chatter and wild gesticulations and occasional bumps of their shoulders.

So yeah, you’d think he’d be used to aliens from opposite ends of the universe referring to him and Jay as _them_ , but between extraterrestrial insinuations, Jay’s lack of awareness of personal space and his own intrusive thoughts… he’s sure he’ll go mad one of these days.  
~

The younger man is dressed altogether too formally in dark jeans and a suit jacket for a quiet evening indoors and Kay almost freezes at the sight of him. “Evening, slick.”

“So… uh, you might have to take a rain check on homemade Italian.” Jay looks sheepish when he opens the door to his apartment with a distinct burnt smell in the air. 

Kay raises his brows and his hand holding a nice bottle of red.

“Oh! You didn’t have to, Kay. Lemme put that away and we can have it after we come back.”

“We’re going out?” Kay asks, as Jay bustles about inside the kitchen.

Jay insists on taking his keys away from him with a cheerful “I’ll be the driver today, Kay!”

When he drives past their usual haunt run which is run by MIB employees and Kay looks over at his partner. “Where are we going, kid? You missed our stop - “

“Ok, so rule number one! You call me by name for the evening. Shouldn’t be all that hard to say one whole syllable, should it?”

Kay sighs pinching his nose. “Fine - Jay… now tell me where are we going?”

“Wouldn’t be a surprise now, would it, if I told ya,” he is giving him with that goofy grin again and Kay finds himself smiling a little in return.  
~

“Good thing I was dressed for the occasion, sl - Jay,” he tugs at his collar glancing around the fine dresses, expensive suits and sparkling tablewares. 

“You’re _always_ dressed for the occasion, grandpa. That’s the whole point of me bringing you here.”

“Not quite that old, slick.” He grumbles, never mind that slight twist in his chest whenever Jay comments on his age. 

“I’m gonna start calling you old man everytime you forget my name,” Jay points a finger at him. “Besides… you make the whole getting old thing kinda sexy, man.”

Kay startles at that. Oh no, he better not start blushing. 

Just then, a waitress in impeccable uniform and bright lipstick comes over to their table and turns a blinding smile at his companion. Now he can feel himself turning red for entirely different reasons.

But he sees that Jay doesn’t react to the obviously flirtatious look being directed at him. He simply places his order and waits for Kay.  
~

Not a date.

Jay uses his fork to spear a perfect piece of chicken for Kay to try and he can’t really do anything other than lean forward and accept. 

_Not a date._

Jay sneaks food from his plate and returns Kay’s disapproving looks with nonchalant shrugs.

Jay spends every moment of conversation with complete engagement and every moment of silence with effortless comfort.

Jay wrestles the bill out of his hands and slaps down the cash on the table before Kay can do anything.

It’s not a date but Kay vaguely considers its pretty damn close. The closest he’ll ever get. 

He’ll take it.  
~

“I think I’ll head home,” he says quietly when Jay gets out of the car. “Jay.”

“Come on, Kay. Just one drink?” He leans over the window, his hands resting against Kay’s car. 

“Maybe another time.” He doesn’t know what else to say, but he knows he needs to be alone right now. He needs some time to regroup his thoughts and calm his heart which has been on a ride the whole evening.

“Oh…” Jay frowns. “Alright then.” He doesn’t move away.

“Night, Jay.” He says softly after a moment hoping to prompt the other man to step back. 

“You know, Kay? It was nice hearing you say my name.”

Kay feels as if the earth is spinning without him, he feels unmoored, lost. There’s no reading his partner’s expression, no clues to find in those dark eyes, nothing…

Kay knows there’s something there in that moment, something both of them share yet cannot name.

Jay is staring right at him and Kay can’t look away.

It’s burning him alive and he almost chokes -

“Well, don’t get used to it, kid.”

The moment is lost. He’s returned to the ground once more. 

Jay steps back and Kay waits until he disappears inside the building before driving away.  
~

“So how long have you two been together?”

“Stopped counting a long time ago, really.” Jay says.

Kay determinedly keeps his eyes on the glass of beer in front of him. The music is pounding through his skull but he still hears every word from halfway across the room.

“Well, you keep an eye on him, little human. Plenty here who’d snap him up, you hear?”

“Don’t worry, no one’s getting anywhere near him.”

Surely, _surely_ Jay can tell the implication of those words? Or is it obvious to everyone but this one infuriating human in the world?

“What took so long, slick?” He mutters when his partner returns to the table. 

“Eh, just chatting with the charming fellow. See anything yet?”

“Mark hasn’t moved in the last hour.”

“Long night, then.” Jay tosses back his drink in a great show of skill. Their legs are almost touching underneath the table and the claustrophobic atmosphere, pulsing beat of music, low lighting is all adding to a sense of closeness between their bodies.

“Hey, you want - ?” Jay leans in further, tilting his head at the people dancing. 

Does he want to a readily available excuse to stand one centimeter away from Jay and probably be pushed against him by the writhing mass of crammed bodies on the floor?

“No,” he says lowly. “Can’t get distracted now.”

“Oh, come on, Jay. We’ll keep an eye out, promise.”

Before he can say anything, he spots their target moving out the back door.

“Let’s go, tiger.”  
~

“Of course, me and him are a package deal.” Jay’s voice says with conviction from behind the closed door. “Buy one, get one free kinda thing ya know?”

Kay’s knuckles turn white around the door handle. 

“Oh how sweet! Me and my George are the same!” A high pitch voice returns. Kay pauses outside the closed door.

“Except you don’t have to hide in a human suit outside the house, do you? It _itches_ you know?”

“I think I’ll have a word with our people, how about that? I’m sure they could do something - here you go, all done, Mrs P!”

“Oh thankyou, dear.”

Kay steps into the room, slamming the door shut a little louder than necessary.  
~

“Agent Kay? A moment of your time?” Kay looks up to see Zed standing before his table. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Kay sees Jay glancing at him and Zed as they walk out of their shared office.

“So, what’s going on that you couldn’t say in front of Agent Jay?” Kay asks curiously.

Zed snorts. “Well, technically I should be speaking to both of you about this but, you’re his superior so you’re the one responsible…” he clears his throat a couple of times and Kay can tell he is uncomfortable. “It has - uh - come to my attention, that uh… look Kay, you and Jay… you guys are our best. So I’ve been turning a blind eye, but - could you keep it under the table at least? This kinda thing is not really appropriate for work place but it’s you and Jay so… you know, be discreet. That’s all I’m asking.”

Kay frowns at him when Zed finishes his little speech somewhat confused. “Apologies, but I don’t quite understand.”

“Oh please don’t make me spell it out. Look, you and Jay make a wonderful pair, and an even better couple. I guess congratulations are in order?” Zed gives a little chuckle. “Seriously, Kay, I’m happy for you guys. But as I said - keep it down. People are starting to gossip.”

“I - I’m sorry. I …” Kay flounders for something to say. That Zed was mistaken? They weren’t together - there was nothing to gossip about whatsoever. Unless you counted his one-sided feelings. “Well, I do apologise.” He can only be grateful that Zed chose to not say any of this to Jay. That’d just make things awkward.

Zed nods at him relieved. “Thanks, Kay. And I mean it. You and Jay are good for each other.”

Kay walks out in a daze.  
~

“Hey, Kay?” 

“What’s wrong now, slick?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” 

Kay tenses when he notices Jay’s voice lacking it’s usual enthusiasm. He knows instinctively that this won’t be good. He gestures at the young man to continue with one hand on the steering wheel.

“So here’s the thing,” Jay says slowly. “People have been saying things? Uh, well, for quite some time… I don’t even remember the start of it - but. I mean, I don’t even understand - “

Jay is babbling now, his words are not making any sense and Kay simply sits there with slow horror creeping up on him. This is it. This is the end of him and Jay.

“ - I mean, did you even know? About any of this?”

Kay looks at his partner blankly.

“Kay? I just …”

“No.” He cuts in. “I didn’t, don’t - know. Anything. I - I’m, I mean people will run away with anything these days, tiger. Nothing we can do.”

“...Oh.” Now Jay is the one who looks utterly lost. “Well. I guess I just - yeah, you’re right, we just … ignore them.” He gives a short laugh. “Man, people are crazy!”

After he drops off Jay that night, he doesn’t drive straight back to his house, instead he circles around empty roads and quiet streets.  
~

They’re on a case and trying to track down a rogue Shikh’rahan. Jay is functioning on 2 hours of sleep in as many days and Kay isn’t much better. But after extensive investigation they’ve managed to narrow down their target’s location to a hotel with peeling paint.

“How much for a double for the night?” Jay goes up to the desk while Kay waits in the lobby, checking the area.

The receptionist - a scruffy, gaunt man - gives him a slow once over and then does the same to Kay.

“Did you say two single beds or two rooms?”

“No, man, one room is fine. A double bed.” Jay repeats frowning.

The man visibly turns angry. “We don’t serve _your kind_ here. Leave.”

Jay is confused for a heartbeat, stunned. He hears Kay call his name from behind him.

“You got a problem with me being black, you fucker?” Jay grabs the guy’s shirt dragging him up from the chair,his teeth bared.

“Jay let him go!”

“Kay you can’t expect me to - ” Jay protests.

“Get out before I call the police, fuckin’ fags - “

Kay flashes the neuralizer. The man falls back down in the chair.

“Let’s go before anyone comes.” He says, taking several pairs of keys from the table and tossing some to Jay. “See if any of these are good.”  
~

It’s been a week since they finished the case and Jay’s finally gotten around the paperwork. He’s filling out the forms when suddenly he remembers -

“Hey Kay!” He yells breaking the quiet sound of tapping keyboards.

“What now, slick?” Kay doesn’t look up from the computer. 

“He wasn't being racist, he was a homophobic asshole, that piece of shit!” 

“Who?”

“You know that guy? From that hotel?” 

“Should I give you points for deduction, agent Jay?” Kay turns to him, raising his eyebrows.

“Huh? So you noticed then?” 

“Yes.”

“And…?” Jay waves his hand vaguely.

Kay turns back to his computer and resumes typing. “We’ve had this conversation before, slick.”

Jay is silent for a long enough moment that Kay thinks the other man has gone back to work and won't ask anymore uncomfortable questions.

But jay speaks up again. “It doesn’t bother you - ”

He’s not sure that’s a question but answers anyway. “No, of course not.” His eyes are firmly glued to the screen in front of him.

“Really?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I mean. It’s been happening a lot. All the time really.” Jay’s voice is casual, the tone light but the words make his skin prickle.

“Listen, kid, I need to get this done by today so would you let me…”

Jay slams his hands on the table. “Stop with the bullshit already, Kay! Everytime I bring this up, you act shifty, you avoid the subject, and what’s worse? You’ve been avoiding me too! And I know it’s something to do with this!”

“Don’t, don’t do this, Jay. Please, just leave it.” Kay knows he sounds desperate, hysterical. But Jay is pushing back his chair with a loud screech and coming over his table to loom above him.

And Kay can’t look away. “Jay, what are you…?”

“I think you should say whatever it is your holding back, man. ‘Cause I ain’t going nowhere till you tell me what’s going on with you?” He pauses. “ - tell me why you nearly bit Janet’s all four heads off when she asked you when’s the wedding?”

Kay gapes at the younger man who fairly seething.

“What bothers you so damn much about people making harmless comments about us?!”

“Because it’s not true!” Kay shouts.

“And what if it were?” Jay yells back. 

“It’s not! It never will be, _but I want it to be true!_ I want us to be partners in all the ways there are, Jay!” 

Kay feels his heart hammering in his chest, his face is on fire and Jay is looking at him with a thunder struck expression.

“Kay…” he says softly. “Why didn’t you say something, how long have you - ?”

“Just forget it, kid. I won’t do anything, ever, so you don’t have to worry about an old man trying anything - ” 

“Oh yeah? How about if I _want_ you to do something?” And really, he’s been towering mere inches from Kay so it doesn’t take much to grab his face and kiss him senseless until they’re both hopelessly out of breath.  
~

“Drop me off, Kay?” 

“Get in the car, slick.” Kay says in mock exasperation, like always. This time though, Jay invites him to stay the night.

Inside his living room, Jay practically climbs in his lap on the couch and Kay puts down his wine glass to free both his hands in order to wrap them securely around the younger man. He drops his head on top of Jay’s.

“You never said. How long?” Jay mumbles against his throat and he relishes the feel of lips moving on the soft skin there.

“Since forever.” The admission is quiet but no less true.

“See? You _can_ be sweet on me, grumpy ol’ man.”

“That’s just it, kid. You _are_ a kid, compared to me. I am old enough to be your father.”

“No you’re not.” Jay moves away slightly to press a finger against his mouth to silence his protests. “Oh, shush. Besides I don’t care. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I find you hot as hell, sexy as fuck.”

“Jay.” He tries to say but the finger is still pressed against his mouth. Which is rapidly replaced by the Jay’s own mouth for the next few minutes.

“Zed told me that we need to be discreet. After he congratulated me about us.” He says when they break the kiss.

“What?!”

“Yes. You need to be more careful about what you say, _how_ you say things. Especially in the office.” Kay’s thumb is stroking his jaw and Jay pushes into his touch.

“Huh, you heard huh? I,” Jay scratches his head sheepishly. “I was - you know - pretending, at least for a while, that it was, _we_ \- were real. I couldn’t resist when there were people, hell, aliens out there telling me they’re rooting for us.”

“Wait. Jay - what do you mean? How long have you been… uh - ” Kay falls silent, not knowing how to finish that sentence.

“Been in love with you? Oh, only since I made you forget everything about me, our job, the real world, since you left me alone and I missed you like crazy.” Jay says lightly, smiling. “That’s when I realised.”

“Jay… I’m so sorry.” His voice catches in his throat. The idea of Jay returning his feelings is still gonna take some getting used to, but the fact that Jay has felt this way for so long… he’s floored… so much time wasted...

“We’re here now. It doesn’t matter.” 

“Me too, I mean. I love you too.” Kay is eager to say the words out loud because after all this time, _he can._

“We’re getting married this weekend.” Jay states simply.

And strangely enough, it doesn’t seem at all like Jay’s usual rash, foolhardy ideas.

“We should pick out matching rings tomorrow.”  
~

**Author's Note:**

> Praying for more fics for this pairing. *crosses fingers*


End file.
